The Gottman Method is based on 36 years of research with over 3,000 couples (including Master Couples)! So what wisdom can we learn from these Master Couples?

Trust and commitment are the pillars of relationships.  In order to build the Sound Relationship House, we must trust our partner and commit to each other.  In this culture of safety we can explore vulnerable, intimate areas of our relationship that can lead to lasting positive change.

Constructive conflict interventions are designed to give couples the tools to accept their partner's influence during conflict discussions, dialogue about gridlocked problems and practice self-soothing techniques when conflict becomes too stressful.  We will work on reducing the presence of the Four Horsemen (Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling) in your relationship.  The Four Horsemen are the most likely predictors of divorce.

One of the best tips we learn from Gottman's research on master couples is that master couples emphasize the positive aspects of their relationship.  They have a sense of "we-ness," even when times are tough.  They foster their partner's dreams.  Master couples cultivate a 5:1 positive to negative ratio of interaction, and turn towards each other instead of away.  They share their fondness and admiration with each other in multiple ways.  Finally, they renew their Love Maps, or knowledge about their partner, as time passes.  Gottman's model uses structured interventions to achieve each of these friendship goals.

Creating shared meaning is about fostering an environment of rituals, symbols and actions that have deeper meaning for the couple.  This shared meaning acts like emotional glue.  We will discover the rituals and symbols that you can create together. 

Homework keeps therapy alive outside of our sessions and helps to solidify your progress.